Being Gay and Not Perfect

2006-12-17T07:03:37Z

You know, I think, honestly, if I weren't interested in the attentions of a man I wouldn't have such a shitty opinion of my body (and consequently, myself).

See, here's how it goes for a gay man. They look at you, they assess how interested they would be in seeing you naked, they reject you if you're not their "type." Friendship for the sake of friendship, though given great lip service, is rare and uncommon.

Why is this coming up now? Well, it's simple really. I've moved to city where my only outlet for socialization and sex is the Internet. Sad but true. And though I know that historically speaking I've never managed to find someone willing to "hook up with me," it is even harder to find someone to have lunch with me. Yes, the ever dangerous, insanely creepy, "Lunch." So, what would happen if I had a six pack instead of a keg? What would happen if I were Latin, had short hair, no personality, no ethics, no honesty, no integrity? I honestly believe that the values I hold that seem to be nothing more than liabilities in our culture would be reasonably overlooked if I had a body they wanted to press against.

See... some people think I'm talking mad shit about now. But I'll tell you that I know from experience how blessed life can be when people, in general, think you're hot.

Invitations for parties, sexual and otherwise, offers of drugs, money, sex, jobs, shelter, clothes, and numerous other resources are all granted at the mere suggestion or perception that they're needed. When you're fat you're lucky to have someone even acknowledge you said hello to them. God forbid hello doesn't actually mean, "I want to fuck you," to one of these people. So I am a troll. I am, "Icky."

I know how things really are. It doesn't matter that I have more talent, more compassion, more skill, more consciousness, tenderness, intellect, experience, awareness, or anything else than the meat-head. He's going to have a boyfriend, and any fuck he wants. Not on the merits of his personality or his nature, simply on the merit of his body.

But see, here's where I'm going to win anyway. I may be bitter, lonely, alone, and forgotten. But I guarantee you, those bodies will suffer the reality of time, and drugs, and abuse, sometimes disease. And that pretty body they were all ga ga over will have nasty spots from staff or KS while mine will simply be soft. My love won't kill them. But then, is what the meat-head giving them love? Probably not.

I feel hideous because I cannot even give away gratuitous sexual favors for attention. Not even on a holiday. Not for any reason. I can't even get a whore to call me back much less get one here to fulfill any kind of intimate request. I can only conclude I'm the guy that has to wear a steak necklace to get the dog to play with me. And I'm supposed to forget that I want a mate, a friend, a confidant to magically have one show up? What a joke. The only thing I want to forget is that I'm sleeping 20+ hours a day and that I'm breathing at all.

posted in BDD - 1 reply

how to cope

2006-06-17T20:18:53Z

any suggestions?

posted in BDD - 1 reply

D-Bol

2005-12-21T02:24:05Z

Hey guys
Longhaired bodybulder here. HIV+
Height 5 Feet 11 Inches
Weight 210 lbs Waist 31
Chest 48.0
Arms 18.0 Forearm 13.0
Thigh 25.0 Calf 18.0
BodyFat 14.0 %
Work out at Golds on Market, SF

I am looking for a local source for D-Bol. I have access to Deca and Test but am looking for a cycle of D-Bol and would like to shope localy with a friend here in SF.

Adric

posted in BDD - 0 replies

note from tribe.net: please assign a moderator

2005-05-20T23:25:47Z

Hey there, "BDD" members--

This Tribe doesn't have a moderator, but as a matter of policy, Tribe.net likes all groups to have a leader.
Could you collectively choose someone to moderate your Tribe?

When you've reached consensus, have the new moderator send a note to help@tribe.net - from the e-mail they use to log into their tribe acct. - with the words "Moderator Change - Name of the Tribe" in the subject header, letting us know that you've selected a new leader.

Thanks--

-- TOU (Terms of Use) Guy

posted in BDD - 1 reply

HARDCORE SUPPLEMENT FOR HUGE MUSCLE

2005-05-18T14:48:16Z

SUSTANON

Sustanon is a very popular steroid which is highly appreciated by its users since it offers several advantages when compared to other testosterone compounds. This special feature has two positive characteristics for the athlete. Sustanon is a mix of four kinds of testosterone, synergistic mix of propionate, phenylpropionate, isocaproate, and decanoate.

First, based on the special combination effect of the compounds, Sustanon, milligram for milligram, has a better effect than Testosterone enanthate, cypionate, and propionate alone.

Second, the effect of the four testosterones is time-released so that Sustanon goes rapidly into the system and remains effective in the body for several weeks. Due to the propionate also included in the steroid, Sustanon is effective after one day and, based on the mixed in decanoates, remains active for 3-4 weeks. In plain English this means a mix of 2 short-acting, 1 medium-acting, and long lasting testosterone, in one shot that equals 250 mg of testosterone.

This is good because it is both fast-acting and long-lasting in the system. You get the fast action of testosterone propionate, and the long lasting effects of enanthate. The blend seems to be recognized by the steroid receptors for longer periods of time than other testosterones. Sustanon hits harder than enanthate or cypionate. At least you get several anabolic "peaks" as each testosterone kicks in for its duration.

Sustanon has a distinct androgenic effect which is coupled with a strong anabolic effect. Therefore it is well suited to build up strength and mass. A rapid increase in body strength and an even increase in body weight occur. Athletes who use Sustanon report a solid muscle growth since it results in less water retention and also aromatizes less than either testosterone enanthate or cypionate. Indeed many bodybuilders who use testosterone and fight against distinct water retention and an elevated estrogen level prefer Sustanon over other long-acting de-pot testosterones.

Many users claim fewer side effects when using Sustanon - less gyno, bloating and endocrine disturbances. It is little less stressful to the liver. In other words, the general feeling is that Sustanon is less toxic than other testosterones, especially suspension. This makes it a favorite of many bodybuilders and power athletes.

It is further noticed that Sustanon is also effective when relatively low doses are given to well advanced athletes- It is interesting to note that when Sustanon is given to athletes who have already used this compound in the same or lower doses, it leads to similar good results as during the previous intake. Sustanon is usually injected at least once a week, which can be stretched up to 10 days.

The dosage in bodybuilding and powerlifting ranges from 250 mg every 14 days up to 1000 mg or more per day. Since such high dosages are not recommended-and fortunately are also not taken in most cases-the rule is 250-1000 mg/week. A dosage of 500 mg/week is completely sufficient for most, and can often be reduced to 250-mg/ week by combining Sustanon with an oral steroid.

Sustanon is well tolerated as a steroid during treatment which stimulates the regeneration, gives the athlete a sufficient "kick" for intense training units, and next to the already mentioned advantage-rapid strength increase and solid muscle gain distinguishes itself also by its compatibility.

DECA DURABOLIN

Deca-Durabolin is a brand name of Organon Company, the manufacturer of the drug containing the substance nandrolone decanoate. Although nandrolone decanoate is still contained in many generic compounds, almost every athlete connects this substance with Deca-Durabolin. Most common are the administrations of 50 mg/ml and 100 mg/ml. Deca Durabolin (nandrolone decanoate) is by far the most popular injectable steroid because of its effectiveness and safety. Deca-Durabolin is the most widespread and most commonly used injectable steroid. Deca's large popularity can be attributed to its numerous possible applications and, for its mostly positive results. Deca-Durabolin causes the muscle cell to store more nitrogen than it releases so that a positive nitrogen balance is achieved. A positive nitrogen balance is synonymous with muscle growth since the muscle cell, in this phase, assimilates (accumulates) a larger amount of protein than usual. The same manufacturer, however, points out on the package insert that a positive nitrogen balance and the protein--building effect that accompany it will occur only if enough calories and proteins are supplied. One should know this since, otherwise, satisfying results with Deca cannot be obtained. The highly anabolic effect of Deca-Durabolin is linked to a moderately androgenic component, so that a good gain in muscle mass and strength is obtained. Since Deca also stores more water in the connective tissues, it can temporarily case or even cure existing pain in joints. This is especially good for those athletes who complain about pain in the shoulder, elbow, and knee; they can often enjoy pain-free workouts during treatment with Deca-Durabolin. Athletes use Deca, depending on their needs, for muscle buildup and in preparation for a competition.

It is moderately high in androgens and is known as a very anabolic drug. Deca spares both muscle tissue and protein and is very anticatabolic. It seems to have a high affinity to the steroid receptors and has been used for both bulking up and precontest cutting up by competitive bodybuilders. In the 1980s Deca was by far the most widely used, most widely available injectable anabolic steroid in the USA. It is not an alpha-alkylated-17 compound, so it is not so-toxic to liver and less side effects. It has minimal liver toxicity, few side effetcs, and only aromatizes to norestrogens when taken in high dosages. Deca is definitely one of the best steroids for stacking. It seems to potentiate any drug it is used with, whether a bulking drug or a cutting drug. Besides accelerating muscle growth and recovery while building strength, one of the best things about Deca is its ability to heal injuries and relieve pain from joints and tendons. It has a reputation among athletes as an almost miraculous healer of joint problems, indicating that it is a very anticatabolic drug - even more so than testosterone. In this regard, Deca has no peer. With Deca, bodybuilders allowed them to train without pain (or with far less pain). It has prolonged careers. I hasten to add that many athletes in contact sports like pro wrestling and football couldn't even compete without Deca because they get banged up so much from week to week. Deca, like all steroids, causes the body to retain more nitrogen than normal so that you're in a state of positive nitrogen balance - the condition ideal for muscle growth when ingested protein is converted to muscle tissue. Deca dramatically increases protein synthesis and so increases muscle size and strength while enhancing recovery. You can train longer and harder without overtraining and you can recover better when using Deca.

Dan Duchaine, steroid guru, always said that Deca was one of the most cost-effective injectables a bodybuilder can take, because it seems to give more anabolic results with less negative side effects compared to other injectables. I agree with Dan on that 100 percent. When drug testing is not a consideration (during off seasons), however, to this day Deca remains the drug of choice and the base drug for many steroid cycles. Personally I always felt deca was one of the best steroids available (like Sustanon). Although it was suggested that 200 mg a week was an appropiate dose, I made very nice gains using 200 mg every 14 days. Deca is one drug that just about everyone who uses it has a positive experience with. It is a drug that most steroid experts - like the late Dan Duchaine, Charles Poliquin, and Bill Philips - recommend with enthusiasm because of its mild side effects, its positive effects on growth and recovery, and its powerful anticatabolic and healing effects.

Deca is suitable, even above average, to develop muscle mass since it promotes the protein synthesis. The optimal dose for this purpose lies between 200 and 600 mg/week. Scientific research has shown that best results can be obtained by the intake of 2-mg/pound body weight. Those who take a dose of less than 200 mg/week will usually feel only a very light anabolic effect which, however, increases with a higher dosage. Most male athletes experience good results by taking 400 mg/week. Steroid novices usually need only 200 mg/week. Deca works very well for muscle buildup when combined with testosterone such as Sustanon. Even faster results can be achieved with 400 mg Deca/week and 500 mg 5ustanon 250/week. Athletes report an enormous gain in strength and muscle mass when taking 400 mg Deca/week, 500 mg Sustanon 250/week. Deca is a good basic steroid which, for muscle buildup, can be combined with many other steroids.

The side effects with Deca are relatively low with dosages of 400 mg/week. Some athletes also re-port sexual overstimulation. Women with a dosage of up to 100 mg/week usually experience no major problems with Deca. At higher dosages symptoms can occur, including increased libido. Deca, through its increased protein synthesis, also leads to a net muscle gain.

Everyone wants Deca Durabolin. It’s good for injuries, joint problems, gains in growth and strength, and is an excellent drug to add to any stack, although Deca is a relatively high cost item. Its price is governed by the law of supply and demand. If someone wants something bad enough, they’ll pay just about any price to get it.

DIANABOL

There’s a former steroid-using powerlifter who experienced the very real effects that steroids had on enhancing his strength and muscle mass. His squat lift increased from 518 pounds, a previous best after 5 years of drug-free training, to 661 pounds after only 9 weeks on dianabol. That is a 143 pound or a 28 percent increase in strength! Thanks to dianabol !

Dianabol (1 7-alpha-methyl-1 7beta-hydroxil-androsta-1.4dien-3-on) is a orally applicable steroid with a great effect on the protein metabolism. The effect of Dianabol promotes the protein synthesis, thus it supports the buildup of protein. This effect manifests itself in a positive nitrogen balance and an improved well-being. Dianabol has a very strong anabolic and androgenic effect which manifests itself in an enormous buildup of strength and muscle mass in its users. Dianabol is a "mass steroid" which works quickly and reliably. A weight gain of 2 - 4 pounds per week in the first six weeks is normal with Dianabol. The additional body weight consists of a true increase in tissue (hyper-trophy of muscle fibers). An effective daily dose for athletes is around 15-40 mg/day (3 to 8 tabs daily). The dosage of Dianabol taken by the athlete should always be coordinated with his individual goals. Steroid novices do not need more than 15-20 mg of Dianabol per day since this dose is sufficient to achieve exceptional results over a period of 8-10 weeks. For those either impatient or more advanced, a stack of Dianabol 20-30 mg/day and Sustanon 250-500 mg/week achieves miracles. The additional intake of an injectable steroid such as Sustanon does, however, clearly show the best results. To build up mass and strength, Sustanon at 250-mg+/week stacked with dianabol are suitable.

The application at least twice a day is necessary to achieve a somewhat even concentration of the substance in the blood. It is recommended that the tablets be taken during meals so that possible gastrointestinal pains can be avoided. Dianabol reaches the blood after 1-3 hours. A simple application of only 10 mg results in a 5-fold increase in the average testosterone concentration in the male. Dianabol's side effects are rare with a dosage of up to 20 mg/day. Dianabol instills in most athletes a "sense of well-being anabolic" which improves the mood and appetite and in many users, together with the obtained results, leads to an improved level of consciousness and a higher self-confidence.

Bodybuilding history has recorded that Larry Scott and Arnold Schwarzenegger are among the popular bodybuilders that have used dianabol and win their Mr.Olympia title.

CETABON (WINSTROL)

At present Cetabon is one of the most confidential source of stanozolol. Exported from Tailand in characteristic boxes - leaf a 10 tab.

One tablet of Cetabon contains:
Stanozolol 2mg
Vit B1 50mg
Vit B6 5mg
Vit B12 50mcg

Cetabon tablets are stiff and they don't crash.

How it works

Stanozolol is DHT derivative. Low androgenic steroid with little or no aromatization. Women, however, often prefer the oral Winstrol This, by all means, makes sense since female athletes have a distinetly lower daily requirement of stanozolol, usually 10-16 mg/day. Thus the daily quantity of tablets is reduced to 5-8 so that gastrointestinal pain and inereased liver values occur very rarely. Another reason for the oral intake in women is that the dosage to be taken can be divided into equal doses. This has the advantage that unlike the 50 mg injections-it does not lead to a significant increase in the androgens and thus the androgenic-caused side effects (virilization symptoms) can be reduced.

Athletes who have opted for the oral administration of Winstrol usually take their daily dose in two equal amounts mornings and evenings with some liquid during their meals. This assures a good absorption of the substance and, at the same time, minimizes possible gastrointestinal pain.

Winstrol is very popular anabolic steroid. Very few user report water retention or any other side effects. It is a popular all purpose steroid; many stack with Primobolan for cutting, others stack it with testosterone like Sustanon, for size and strength gains. Users report that the muscle gains they make are solid, they are well retained after the drug use is discontinued.

Dosages range from 3-5 cc per week for men, 1-2 cc in women. Oral dosages are usually in the area of 16-30 mg per day for men, 4-8 mg for women.

Dosages

Considering the fact that the injectable Winstrol Depot is usually taken in a dosage of 50 mg/day or at least 50 mg every second day and when comparing this with the actual daily quantity of tablets taken by many athletes, our thesis is confirmed. Since, in the meantime, one would have to take at least 16-30 mg daily to obtain the quantity of the substance one receives when injecting.

F O R -- S A L E !! Sustanon, deca durabolin, dianabol, clomid, HCG, hGH jintropin/saizen, orgabolin, andriol, proviron, primobolan, winstrol, nolvadex, clenbuterol, Thyroid – T3, T4, THG, ephedrine HCL, EPO/erythropoietin, syringes/needles, equipoise, bodymass-rx (1-testosterone/4-androstenediol), carnitor/L-carnitine injection, aspirin, insulin, xenical, viagra, glucophage, teslac,

cypionate, propionate, anavar, meridia, accutane, norandren brovel, nandrolona ttokyo, reforvit, anadrol, lutalyse, masteron,enanthate,omnadren, denkall testosterone, finaplix, test.suspension, IGF-1,laurabolin, aranesp, reductil, DNP, usnic acid, proscar,etc

======= We ship worldwide. For complete pricelist / ordering information, please contact

nkristan@indo.net.id

posted in BDD - 0 replies

welcome!

2005-02-21T03:28:01Z

welcome to the BDD tribe. starting this tribe has been on my mind and so I wish all of you a warm welcome as we tackle a topic that affects millions of people. A good reference to start off with is the book by Katherine Phillips, The Broken Mirror. Please post your experiences, suggestions, resources, and kind words.

posted in BDD - 0 replies

BDD's topics - tribe.net

Being Gay and Not Perfect

how to cope

D-Bol

note from tribe.net: please assign a moderator

HARDCORE SUPPLEMENT FOR HUGE MUSCLE

welcome!